The Southern Belle's Thought's on Men from around the World

Most Southern Belle's will tell you dating the quarterback in high school was a right of passage ( as well as being initiated into woman hood in the back of his Chevelle after a winning season). We were high school cheerleaders, social butterflies, and mean girls all wrapped up into one nice little package. As we gracefully grew older we were mother's of cheerleaders, social climbers and b!t#h'$ still wrapped up but in very expensive packages.

Women from around the world don't necessary like us much. I however do not mind what people from outside our beloved south think about us. Because all Southern Belle's know the truth, that every woman out there dreams of being Southern. They want our sweet drawl, our magic charm, our sexy walk.

Women of the south can hypnotize a man with a sweep of her lashes, she can enchant him with just a whiff of her perfume and have him enraptured by sunrise. I really can't explain why we seem to appeal to men? I just know we do. I have traveled all over the world and know matter where I am men want to hear me speak, they are enthralled by the sound of my soft southern drawl. Of course I can't help but exaggerate it when they ask me to say it again. I even notice I put an extra little wiggle when I walk away and coyly smile over my shoulder and say "Bye Y'all.

I will confess I get a little thrill each time I speak and notice that the man has become enthralled by my voice. I was in Peru on a Mission trip and the men of that country seemed especially fascinated with me. I was offered dinner, a date (by a young man 1/2 my age), marriage and I'm not quite sure what the other offer was for (the men in that country were very bold)? My Peruvian translator was a sweet young lady and she nick-named me the Peruvian heart-breaker. Even the pastor got in on the gig when he realized the men were mesmerized by me. He came to me and asked me to go with some of the other Peruvian women of the church and ask these men to come to our church service that night. He wanted me to charm and flirt with them (I'm not making this up) I thought for a minute and as my granny would say "Sometimes the Lawd works in mysterious ways". So off I went with all my sexy, southern charm to ask these men to church and yes they did come and according to the pastor several of them still ask about me today.

On my trip traveling the Alaska/Canadian highway I ran into some men whom I was quite sure had not seen any woman for a long period of time. When I opened my mouth and spoke with them all my southern charm came oozing out. I started to get a little worried by the way they seemed to look at me (like they were starving and I was a nice juicy steak). I was really afraid they would kidnap me and I would end up being their love slave for the rest of my natural life. I kept my charm at bay as much as possible and it was lucky for me that I was traveling with my now ex husband who looked like a linebacker for the Falcons football team. So once those mountain men got a look at him they did reconsider. To be on the safe side I did lock myself in the camper instead of sleeping in the tent with my husband. I didn't want to invite trouble. Now a funny  story and I swear it's the truth. This guy saw me riding in the truck with my husband and followed us nearly 200 miles (he told us both that over dinner at the campsite that night). It kind of freaked me out! I  locked myself up tight that night and believe it or not I found a nice note he left me on the door of the camper. He must have put it there before he left that morning(or night) as he was gone by 7:00 and it had his name and address on it. I often wonder what his real plan was?

I remembering another time when traveling to Italy and Greece with my friend Pipar. we were in Athens and just walking down the street from our hotel and this man comes out of his shop and starts talking to me. His name was Takis and he owned the shop  he chatted on and on and invited Pipar and I to meet him at the Plaka for dinner. He had a friend who owned a restaurant there. We agreed and went on with our day. When we showed up for dinner Takis was not there yet but had told his friend all about us. We had the best table in the house Takis showed up a little later and had his friend bring out the good wine. Dinner was amazing and Takis was smitten with me! Pipar laughed when Takis brought out a gift for me. I opened it and it was a sterling silver necklace and earrings! It was beautiful ! An intricate piece of jewelry made into the Greek symbol. I was flattered but told him I could not possibly accept such a gift from someone I just met but he insisted. He said beside his daughter I was the most beautiful woman in Greece. Pipar said accept the gift as he only meant it as a token for a beautiful Southern Belle. I accepted it graciously and it is a gift I treasure because it reminds me of a wonderful trip and a sweet Greek gentleman.

When we got to Italy my Southern drawl had all the men buying me wine and wanting to kiss me! I was a little shocked by this as they would just grab me and kiss me on both my cheeks and say "Bello". They were very Bold!!!! It became a running joke with Pipar and I about how the men would carry her luggage and kiss me! I was trying to buy grapes from the fruit vendor one afternoon and even he kissed me! What's a southern Belle to do?

Pipar and I have traveled many places and I seem to attract men like bees to flowers. We were in Santa Fe, New Mexico  and we walked into this quaint jewelry shop and I decide to buy me a pair of earrings made of turquoise. The owner after taking with me said "I would like to give you gift" and he gave me the earrings and another pair just because they matched my eyes. Well as you can imagine I said thank you very much with as much southern drawl as I could put in it. In Mexico it was the very same thing a beautiful gift of sterling silver earrings just because.

To be completely honest with you I'm very flattered by all the attention my southern charm has given me over the years. I hope that I have given these gentlemen a little bit of the warmth, friendliness, and sweetness most of us Southern Belle's have to give. I will say this each and everyone of them brings a smile to my face when I remember them. A big thank you to all the "Charming" men of this world!


Enjoy Y'all

Happy Mother's Day Mom

 

Margaret Elizabeth Watson Shoulders

 

This is a tribute to my Mom for Mothers day. I have not blogged about her since her death in December. It’s just been too painful for me. I’m still grieving for her now and will for a long time. I did however what to honor her and decided to write through my pain for her. So if at times I wander off the point or become too poignant please forgive me. You see my mother was my North Star (we all need one) and no matter what was going on in my sometimes hectic, crazy life my mother was always there shinning bright to show me the way. Sometimes I think especially as adults we take that for granted. Now I feel lost … I know in time I will find my way again.

My Mom as a little girl

 I recall being very little maybe 3 or 4 and my mom being so delighted in everything I did. I had a very strong will as a small child and have no doubt that it took the patience of a saint to raise me I could not understand why I could not have what wanted when I wanted it! I can remember telling her when she spanked me that it didn’t hurt! And I would refuse to cry! Oh how my mother ever dealt with me I will never know!

 

I remember one time going to the dry goods store in town on a Saturday and my mother was getting a few things and I decided I needed a shiny new black purse. So when my mom gathered her packages up and left I grabbed my purse too and walked out. I was so happy and we hadn’t walked more than a block when I started chatting happily about my new purse. When my mother saw it she was so upset with me she took me back to the dry goods store to return it and tell them I was sorry for stealing it. Now this was a new word for me as I was only four years old. I didn’t know what stealing was? I just saw my mother get stuff there and at my young age had no concept of money. My mother gave me a lesson that day I won’t ever forget.

 

I’m sure though my teenage years I was a trial to her as well. To say we didn’t exactly get along during that time would be an understatement. Most teenage girls think their mother’s don’t know anything and I was no different. It wasn’t until after I got married and had my first child that I began to understand my mother. I depended on her wisdom and knowledge as I was woefully inadequate to the job.

My mom is the little girl on the far right, she is with her grandfather and cousins.



 

My mother loved children and had a lifetime of wisdom about them and I was grateful for that when my children came along. She always wanted her children and grandchildren around her. Indeed my mother could be surrounded my twenty kids and amid all this chaos have the patience of a saint with them! She used to amaze me I would have gone stark raving mad with all those kids, but not her. She thrived on it! After she died and we were looking for pictures of her for the service we had a very hard time finding any of just her (we found 2) in almost all of the pictures she had a child or a baby in her arms so we just used those for the slide show. There was a child at her service who knew my mother well and he made the statement “Do you think God took Miss Margie home so she could help with all those kids that died at Sandy Hook?” (My mother went to heaven that same morning at 4:30 am) I don’t know how many adults said that very same thing to me or something similar. I believe if the people at Sandy Hook knew that they had someone like my mother to look after their babies in Heaven they wouldn’t worry. Grieve yes, but worry no, because Heaven couldn’t exist in my mother’s world without children.

 

When my children were grown I got to spend more time with my mother and I took the time to talk and listen to her. I wanted to know her dreams, hopes, fears and to learn about her childhood. My mother had a very sad, hard life and there were times when you could see this. When she became sick in 2005 I knew my time was running out with her. We all take for granted that tomorrow will be there but I felt an urgency to be near her as much as possible. I was living in Georgia and she was in Kentucky at that time. She did move to Georgia and live with my youngest sister for years and I got too see her often. One time when she got out of the hospital I took her to Florida with my daughter Jessica. You see she had never seen the ocean and I wanted her to see that before she died. That was a wonderful trip for us. She was so excited and called everybody she new and told them how beautiful it was and that she didn’t know God had created anything that magnificent.

 

 

 

 

When she moved back to Kentucky I would travel up there to see her and she loved to go to the Amish village and buy fruit and vegetables. We went down there last summer and then took the ferry over the Ohio River to Cave-in-Rock, Illinois. She said I have never been on a ferry and I said you can scratch it off you bucket list now! She really enjoyed that trip we left at the crack of dawn and didn’t get back home until late that night.

 

I also met her and my sister in Nashville, Tennessee a few times. We went for her birthday and for July 4^th. She wanted to go to Printers Ally and that got checked off her bucket list as well and she even had happy birthday sang to her by the band that night. We had so many enjoyable trips!

 

Every time I got together with her I tried to store up my memories like tiny treasure to bring out when I was missing her. Now that she is gone from this earth I find it painful to pull those memories up… My heart feels like part of it is missing and it is… she took it with her… I know she left me part of hers as well and in time I will be able to look back and smile when I think of her instead of cry. The month of May will be difficult for all her children as its Mother’s day and then her birthday May 24^th.

 

 

"My Mother is the song in my soul…
She is the dance in my spirit…
She is the love in my heart…
And wherever I wander I will always carry her with me…
~ Glenda Sisk

 

 

                                    

A card I bought her for Mother's day, I found it after she died.

 

 

 



Mom and Dad on their Wedding day July 14, 1955

The Southern Belle's Rules for Cooking

Fried Green Tomatoes

Now all Southern Belle's know the 7 basic things you need in your kitchen to be a great cook.

1. Always use Dukes mayonnaise when making any salad (southern tradition since 1917).

2. When making sweet tea it's Luzianne( a southern tradition since 1902).

3. Never put anything in your tea but Dixie Crystal sugar (southern tradition since 1917).

4. Martha White flour is the only thing for homemade biscuits (southern tradition since 1899).

5. Buttermilk is not optional for biscuits or cornbread!

6. Crisco is not your enemy (southern tradition since 1911) It is mandatory for your pie crusts!

7. I will say that on occasion I still use bacon grease when seasoning beans, a touch in potato salad will have your guests wondering what that wonderful flavor is and of course add a small amount  to your healthy vegetable oil for fried green tomatoes.

Yummy New Red Potato Salad

These ingredients have been around a long time and they are tried and true for the Southern Belle cook! Now I know most of you reading this will think well there you have it that's why everyone in the south has health issues! True we might have our share of health issues BUT a good southern cook will grow most of her vegetables and can them herself therefore cutting down on processed food. I always have a vegetable garden and love to cook and can them. I have cut back on the use of butter, whipping cream, and the amount of sugar I use in all my everyday cooking. I do however reserve the right to bring all those heavenly ingredients out on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. My children swear I make the best mashed potatoes in the world and they think my homemade green bean casserole is to die for. My friend from out west said mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes! Then she tried mine and said I quote her "I stand corrected not all mashed potatoes are the same yours are divine"  then she asked for my recipe.

I think cooking is an art form and I love to cook. I will find a new recipe and then turn it into my own with a few changes! I even create new ones just for fun. Mine are mostly southern dishes and a few Tex-Mex dishes. I have discovered that Hatch green chilies from New Mexico are a must for those recipes. It's really the ingredients (fresher is better) and the amount of love that goes into cooking that makes the difference.

I remember last summer I was visiting my Mother in Kentucky and we made a trip to the Amish village to buy fresh veggies. I love to buy from them when I'm up there as they are very fresh! The young boys will pick it off the vine for you! They also sell homemade butter, buttermilk, bread, and sorghum. They are all very good for you as NO processing or added ingredients. My Mother and I came home from that trip and I started cooking for her (she did love my cooking) I made her stuffed bell peppers(her favorite), fresh green beans and new potatoes, sliced cucumbers and tomatoes in a homemade vinegar dressing, fresh creamed corn and homemade biscuits with sorghum. She stuffed herself and it did my heart good to make my Mother happy with my cooking.

                                            Fresh Stuffed Bell Peppers

My first lessons in cooking was by watching my great grandmother Mammy Jenkins cook on an old wood stove. I used to watch her roll her biscuits and pie crusts out making them just right! She lived on a very large farm and they grew all their own fruit and vegetables. She would can jams and jellies, relishes, and of course fresh fruit and veggies. Then she would put them away in the root cellar to have all winter. When I got a little older I started watching my grandmother Anna Lee and noticed the differences in her techniques  She also grew all her own fruit and veggies. I started cooking at an early age and I mean I was making meals at 11 and 12 years old. My Mother was a good cook too and she let me play in the kitchen cooking. She always made me clean up too which I didn't enjoy! When I got married I started watching my new grandmothers and my mother-in-law and if I liked something they cooked I remembered it and even made it better sometimes. In fact my ex-husband will tell you to this day that the thing he misses most about me is my cooking!

I think cooking for me is a way to show my family and friends that I care about them. I remember when my younger sister had a health issue and had to go to the emergency room. The first thing I did was make homemade potato soup, sub sandwiches and homemade brownies and took to her when she and her husband got home. Southern food in particularly can be comfort food. We always take food for the sick and bereaved. It is part of our culture and history. I can remember my great grandmother talking about bereavement biscuits. They were basically lady fingers that had a design on them (a heart or flower). They were given out to all the guests who showed up for the service. She thought it was sad that people stopped making those and giving them out.

Every Southern Belle will make her best dish for a funeral. I will confess that some of the best food I have ever eaten has been after the funeral. There is always mounds of fried chicken, green beans, Lima beans, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, biscuits, corn bread, deviled eggs, potato salad, macaroni salad, green bean casserole, cooked cabbage, candied sweet potatoes, fried apples and the list goes on and on! I haven't even made it to the deserts! German chocolate cake, pineapple upside down cake,  red velvet cake, pecan pie, apple pie, coconut pie, banana pudding and it goes on and on! All this food is washed down with gallons of sweet tea! Am I making you hungry yet?

My Mother Loved this Coconut Pie.

There are two restaurant's in Savannah, Georgia that have the best Southern cooking I have ever eaten from a restaurant and of course #2 is Paula Deans the other is a best kept secret from tourist. The locals line up at lunchtime 30 minutes before they open to get a seat at Mrs. Wilkes Boarding house! They cook just like my great grandma Jenkins! Everyone sits around the table together and will pass the bowls of food around just like when I was small (and don't worry if the bowl gets empty they will bring another one). Fried chicken is always on the menu, with dishes like okra and tomatoes, fried green tomatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy and of course biscuits so lite and fluffy they melt in your mouth. Her banana pudding is almost as good as my Mother's. Yes Mrs. Wilkes know a thing or two about cooking!

                                         My Mama's Famous Banana Pudding!

Well all this talk of food is making me hungry! So I guess I will go cook myself something to eat if your hungry just give me a shout and I'll set another plate because we all know in the south that friends and family are always welcome for dinner.

The Southern Belle’s Unspoken Rules for Gossiping

Gossip ~The Lawd says in Proverbs 20:19  A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. Now the key word from our Lawd is talks too much!

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don’t.

~ Earl Wilson

Yes, Southern Belle’s gossip; it’s a way for us to connect and share information about our social ethics and guidelines for a Belle’s behavior. Our gossip usually comments on how appropriate a behavior was (or wasn’t), and the mere act of repeating it to other Belle’s signifies its importance to us. In this sense, gossip is effective regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Now some theorists have proposed that gossip is actually a pro-social behavior intended to allow a Belle to correct her socially prohibitive behavior without direct confrontation from another Belle. So what they are really sayings is gossiping about another Belle’s bad behavior, can subtly indicate to her that said acts are inappropriate and it allow the Belle to stop and think, then correct her behavior. Yes, it’s true sometimes a Southern Belle can be a very bad girl and it is our jobs to help them stop their behavior any way we can. So when they are bad, we will do our christain duty and gossip about it! This means we must do whatever it takes to lead them back to being virtuous Belle's of the south.


Now I of course will not share one single Belle’s name in this blog but if you have ever done one or more of the things I’m talking about, then you might want to re-think your behavior. Hopefully this blog will subtly remind you to correct your behavior as the whole world is watching you.

One of the things most Belle’s gossip about is divorce. We in the bible belt hold marriage to be sacred. So when a Belle’s gets a divorce this is BIG news. We will talk about whose fault it was and if there was a little hanky, panky going on before the divorce and if so who with and so on, you get the idea I’m sure. We like nothing better than to sit around with a glass of wine and talk about other peoples woes and sorrows (it makes our own life seem better somehow).

Now if a Belle has been divorced more than once well she is just asking for it and God forbid if she has been divorced 5 or 6 times, she is no longer a Belle at that point she is a ruined woman by southern standards! In this Belle’s mind I just wonder what kind of man would marry a woman who has been married that many times. I’m sure he would not be a Southern Gentleman that’s for sure! And if she has been married and divorced that many times no mere gossip is going to make her change her behavior it will take a psychiatrist!

Another thing we love to gossip about is extra marital affairs. Some times they can end in divorce but often times this behavior can go on for years with multiple affairs. Sometimes we just can’t believe our eyes and ears! The deacon of the church with what Southern Belle and the high school band teacher hot after what Belle, Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, don’t they know better and at their age, oh my you just shake your head, sigh and say “Bless her heart” because you just can’t believe she did it again!

The really funny thing to me is these same Belles’s who do all these crazy things talk about other Belle’s too. It’s like they have a short circuit in their brain or conscience or something. I do stand and look at these Belle’s and wonder have you looked in the mirror lately honey. I mean hello clean up your act before you talk about another Belle’s bad behavior. I mean that is the purpose of gossiping is to help you see the problem and fix it!

A Belle’s should never forget what she’s done because I can assure you nobody else will. Even when she smiles and thinks no one remembers or cares she’s just lying to herself because a Belle will never forget. Most often when there is no new gossip a Belle will say “Do you remember when Belle did this with Mr. Who” and your other Belle’s will chime in “Lawd yes, I remember and wasn’t she a brazen, shameless little thing”. Southern Belle’s have very long memories indeed. It's our duty to gossip and we do preform it to the best of our ability. We also enjoy it but there's nothing wrong with enjoying your work.

Y’all behave now or else someone will be talking about you next.

The Southern Belle's~ itty, bitty, white lies...

The things a Belle will say or not!



Yes, we Southern Belle's sometimes tell itty, bitty, lies. Just so you know we were taught this by not only our mother but our grandmother's as well. Now I don't want our itty, bitty lies to be confused with the whoppers your granny would tan your hide for. That would be another blog. These itty, bitty lies are told to flatter or throw a cheerful interpretation on otherwise depressing situations. They do no harm and provide support, flatter and cheer up us Belles. We all know growing up in the south comes a genteel way of doing things (if you’re a lady that is). Our mother's would roll over in there graves if they heard us tell the neighbor that her husband was a lying, cheating, dog and sorry excuse for a man (we can think it and tell our close friends that but what we say to them instead is).

Lie 1. Sugar you are too good for that him, why he doesn't appreciate all your hard work and loyalty is beyond me, you deserve so much better than that. Now doesn't that sound much better? That's just one of the itty bitty white lies we tell.

Lie 2. When a Belle attends a funeral service she always say the (deceased) person looks good and of course that they were put away nice. It's just vulgar to talk about how cheap the casket was and ask if that was a house dress she was laid to rest in? I mean really!

Lie 3. Since we are talking about funerals I must address this, whatever you do NEVER criticize the food that was brought over. I don't care if it looks like the dawgs won't eat it. You ALWAYS say how delicious it was. You can bury it in the yard later but never let them know. It you wanted to take the lie further to show how nice you are you could ask for the recipe then burn it.

Lie 4. This lie is about your husband or soon to be husband. You must never ever tell him he is stupid and lazy. The kindest way to get him off the couch is to try and fix it yourself and say "Sugar Bear I'm not sure I know the difference between a hammer and a screwdriver? Could you please help me?" When he comes to your rescue you ooh and ahhh say how strong and smart he is and that you would never in a million years have ever figured it out.

Lie 5. I must confess we even lie to our friends...When we go shopping and they look at you after they have tried on a dress that looks like a circus tent and ask does this dress make me look fat? You really want to say honey give that dress back to the elephant you stole it from but what you say instead is honey I'm not quite sure that dress is for you, I mean it doesn't flatter all those beautiful curves you have. If you told her the truth that her a$$ looked like two pigs wrestling in that dress she would never speak to you again. A Belle must do what she has to in order to have friends!

Lie 6. One of the most frequent lies a Southern Bell tells is "Isn't that nice" or "Bless your heart" when what she really means is "You stupid, dimwitted, brainless, pathetic excuse for a woman". Yes, that itty, bitty lie is spoken everyday, somewhere in the south by a Belle!

Lie 7. This is one that is said at least once a year maybe twice at your birthday and Christmas...Well what a thoughtful gift, I declare I just love it! Even if you are wondering what in the world it is and what the heck does it do????

Lie 8. Another lie we tell is when someone comes for a party, to visit and breaks something (like a china cup that was part of a set that dated back to the time before the Civil War) and they feel dreadful and you say that it was of no value, an insignificant cup, nothing special as you grown inwardly. You speak that lie because a Belle would never hurt someone’s feelings over an accident.

Lie 9. Belles are never rude we must always remember this and this why Belles tell this little white lie. I'm really sorry I can't make it to your party or social event. I would just love to really but my poor aunt Mable is sick and I must go sit with her. Now poor Aunt Mable has passed through those pearly gates log ago but you can't tell your friend that you have to go to someone else's party! I mean that would surly end the friendship.

Lie 10. I would say this is really the #1 lie instead of ten, Belles never, ever tell another Belle the truth about what her other friends say about her behind her back. A true Southern Belle would never indulge in gossip but if it's spoken she will listen.

Well these are just a few itty, bitty, white lies we tell and in the famous words of Mark Twain ~ There might not be much to see in a small town but what you hear makes up for it.

Y'all a Belle sure knows when to keep her mouth shut!

The Southern Belle's Guide to Texting

There are some mornings when you just think to yourself I should have just stayed in bed. Today was one of those days for me. My boyfriend sent me the text message that just got my day going in the perfect direction. It stated “I just got fired, I’m broke and depressed”. I thought for a minute and said to myself indeed honey why don’t you tell me how you honestly feel. Then I thought you sent this in a text? Truly? What happened to a good old fashioned phone call to talk about all this but no everything now has to be in a text. So I fired my own back it said” Baby look I’m unemployed, totally broke, with a needy, neurotic daughter in collage, and a son who won’t look for gainful employment, my mother just passed away to the promised land and now I have a complicated, needy, depressed boyfriend. Sometimes life just sucks. The only thing I haven’t lost is my sense of humor! “Well as you can guess I didn’t get a reply from that text message. But it got me thinking about this crazy world we live in and some of the brainless things people do.

This whole texting is one of them. I ask WHY would you send someone that kind of news in a text message? That’s just as bad as sending a text that someone died. I have gotten those as well from my newly departed mother no less. Even she joined the whole texting movement! Honey I just wanted to let you know Uncle Johnny died this morning in his sleep. I mean when you read that you think WHAT!!!! REALLY!!!! I mean it genuinely boggles one’s mind!

All these breakup text messages too. Now as a divorcee I must confess to wanting to do this on more than one occasion. I just didn’t have the heart to end things that way. I left a courteous letter instead. I think that is much nicer and you don’t have to worry about them texting you back. Dear Mr. Bière I’m sorry our relationship just was not working for me. So I decided it would be in my best interest to find someone with a little more money and a little less paunch. I do hope you find the woman for you; perhaps you should start looking at Joe’s bar and grill. Of course it’s just a suggestion but I have heard of women who can drink as much or more beer than you that frequent the establishment. No hard feelings it’s been entertaining to say the least. You will always be in my prayers and I will until the end of time think of you and smile. Sincerely Baby doll. Now that is the proper way to breakup.

I will always behave like a lady and never, ever be rude or disrespectful to anyone. To me the breakup letter is just way classier than any text message could ever be. Should my newly departed boyfriend want to keep his letter to reread and cry over me in his beer at least he has that to comfort him with his grief this tangible thing called a letter, not some old text message on his phone. I know I’m a minority with this texting and will have to waltz into this future and learn all sort’s of new things in order to keep up with the kids. But there are times when I actually miss the old days and the refined way things were done. So, I guess I will end this day on a better note, (as any genteel southern lady would) with Kentucky bourbon in one hand and a carton of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the other.