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| The things a Belle will say or not! |
Yes, we Southern Belle's sometimes tell itty, bitty, lies. Just so you know we were taught this by not only our mother but our grandmother's as well. Now I don't want our itty, bitty lies to be confused with the whoppers your granny would tan your hide for. That would be another blog. These itty, bitty lies are told to flatter or throw a cheerful interpretation on otherwise depressing situations. They do no harm and provide support, flatter and cheer up us Belles. We all know growing up in the south comes a genteel way of doing things (if you’re a lady that is). Our mother's would roll over in there graves if they heard us tell the neighbor that her husband was a lying, cheating, dog and sorry excuse for a man (we can think it and tell our close friends that but what we say to them instead is).
Lie 1. Sugar you are too good for that him, why he doesn't appreciate all your hard work and loyalty is beyond me, you deserve so much better than that. Now doesn't that sound much better? That's just one of the itty bitty white lies we tell.
Lie 2. When a Belle attends a funeral service she always say the (deceased) person looks good and of course that they were put away nice. It's just vulgar to talk about how cheap the casket was and ask if that was a house dress she was laid to rest in? I mean really!
Lie 3. Since we are talking about funerals I must address this, whatever you do NEVER criticize the food that was brought over. I don't care if it looks like the dawgs won't eat it. You ALWAYS say how delicious it was. You can bury it in the yard later but never let them know. It you wanted to take the lie further to show how nice you are you could ask for the recipe then burn it.
Lie 4. This lie is about your husband or soon to be husband. You must never ever tell him he is stupid and lazy. The kindest way to get him off the couch is to try and fix it yourself and say "Sugar Bear I'm not sure I know the difference between a hammer and a screwdriver? Could you please help me?" When he comes to your rescue you ooh and ahhh say how strong and smart he is and that you would never in a million years have ever figured it out.
Lie 5. I must confess we even lie to our friends...When we go shopping and they look at you after they have tried on a dress that looks like a circus tent and ask does this dress make me look fat? You really want to say honey give that dress back to the elephant you stole it from but what you say instead is honey I'm not quite sure that dress is for you, I mean it doesn't flatter all those beautiful curves you have. If you told her the truth that her a$$ looked like two pigs wrestling in that dress she would never speak to you again. A Belle must do what she has to in order to have friends!
Lie 6. One of the most frequent lies a Southern Bell tells is "Isn't that nice" or "Bless your heart" when what she really means is "You stupid, dimwitted, brainless, pathetic excuse for a woman". Yes, that itty, bitty lie is spoken everyday, somewhere in the south by a Belle!
Lie 7. This is one that is said at least once a year maybe twice at your birthday and Christmas...Well what a thoughtful gift, I declare I just love it! Even if you are wondering what in the world it is and what the heck does it do????
Lie 8. Another lie we tell is when someone comes for a party, to visit and breaks something (like a china cup that was part of a set that dated back to the time before the Civil War) and they feel dreadful and you say that it was of no value, an insignificant cup, nothing special as you grown inwardly. You speak that lie because a Belle would never hurt someone’s feelings over an accident.
Lie 9. Belles are never rude we must always remember this and this why Belles tell this little white lie. I'm really sorry I can't make it to your party or social event. I would just love to really but my poor aunt Mable is sick and I must go sit with her. Now poor Aunt Mable has passed through those pearly gates log ago but you can't tell your friend that you have to go to someone else's party! I mean that would surly end the friendship.
Lie 10. I would say this is really the #1 lie instead of ten, Belles never, ever tell another Belle the truth about what her other friends say about her behind her back. A true Southern Belle would never indulge in gossip but if it's spoken she will listen.
Well these are just a few itty, bitty, white lies we tell and in the famous words of Mark Twain ~ There might not be much to see in a small town but what you hear makes up for it.
Y'all a Belle sure knows when to keep her mouth shut!
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