I have heard some crazy stories about women. One about this Southern Belle walking in and finding her new black stilettos and her best friend both wrapped around her boyfriend and I can tell you the aftermath from that fallout was like a nuclear explosion! She pitched a good old fashion hissy fit! Everybody in the place knew just what she thought of them both as she ripped her black stilettos off her friend. She was madder about the shoes than her boyfriend as men were like buses and another one was just around the corner. In the "other woman's" defense she was from up North and all us good Southern girls know she just can't have a Yankee girlfriend. She just doesn't get all this southern stuff!
I do however have a friend from up North and she has been in the south almost 16 years and has just earned her "Southern Belle in Training" T-shirt. Yes, sometimes it takes that long to get it! I mean the woman didn't even know what a grit was when she moved here! Y'all was a foreign word and she just didn't understand what all this "fixin" stuff was about. Fixin dinner, fixin to go to the movies, fixin you sister up with the football player, fixin to shut your mouth for you and fixin to get all gussied up! Yes she did not have any idea about that one Southern word and all its meanings.
Here are my Southern Bell's Unspoken Rules we live by.....
Rule# 1. A man will believe anything if it's coming out of pouty pink lips with a Southern drawl.
Rule# 2. Any good Southern girl knows if you want to get a man's attention you need to start from the waist down because that is where his brain is.
Rule# 3. A Southern Belle knows how to make hard men melt like butter and soft men as hard as steel.
Rule# 4. A Southern Belle knows the secret to getting a man to do what you want is to let him think it was his idea in the first place.
Rule# 5. If a Southern Belle tells you "Isn't that nice “or "Bless your- heart"...It ain't a compliment!
Rule# 6. A Southern Belle's laugh is sexy as sin and full of promise.
Rule# 7. A Southern girl learns to wiggle her hips in high heels at the age of 5 and the older she gets the better she gets.
Rule# 8. Don't make a Southern Belle take her pearls off because this means it's going to get ugly!
Rule# 9 If a Southern Belle tells you things are gonna get ugly, then my advice to you friend is RUN, (southern gentlemen already know this and they are the first under the table)!!!!
Rule# 10. A Southern Belle knows every button to push to make men (and northern girls) fuming mad (we were taught this in grade school). Then we just sit back, laugh and enjoy the show.
Rule# 11. A Southern Belle is alluring, crafty and always a sultry femme fatale (Just watch "Body Heat" with Kathleen Turner).
Rule# 12. A Southern Belle knows the secret to keeping a man blissfully happy is making sure his belly is full and his nuts are empty (an old wise Southern Belle told me this one)
As any good southern girl knows just because you know the rules doesn't mean you can't break them.
Enjoy Y'all
No comments:
Post a Comment