La Glorieta, Chancay, Peru

  Castillo de Chancay, Peru

When we left the Mission Training school we traveled to Chancay, Peru. We did outreach in some of the poorest neighborhoods. This city to me seemed to be at odds with what it should be. Let me explain, you look out and see the Pacific Ocean and how beautiful it is. Then you turn around and see the slums crowing around the oceanfront. This visual blew my mind, especially when I come from a society that Oceanfront property is considered prime real estate. It was hard to wrap your mind around this. Now not all of Chancay is poor the downtown area is beautiful with it's gazebo in the plaza. There is a walkway only next to it full of shops and restaurant's. There is a castle there too but I did not get to see it I only saw a picture of it on a postcard.

La Glorieta, Chancay, Peru

In this city we went to an area so poor it rivaled Lima and the children were so happy to see us. We did a children’s program for them and I dressed up as Bubbles the clown again. I didn’t have a clown suit but I had a great time and the kids loved it. Bubbles had candy and beaded bracelets to give away and I thought I had enough for everyone but I was swamped when I started to give them away and there were a few children that didn’t get anything but candy. I had one little girl who cried like her heart was broken and I found something in my bag to give her when everyone was gone. I could not stand to see her weep so.

These were some of the better homes I saw...

Our group stayed with a lady from the church. She graciously opened her home to us and was such a wonderful hostess during our stay. When we first got there it was late at night and when she opened the door to all of us I think she was a little shocked! Especially when we just kept coming in. I think she thought we would never stop! She was so sweet and her three children were so well behaved. Her daughter spent quite a bit of time with us she is so sweet and beautiful. She wanted us to help her with her English. So we spoke to her as much as we could in English. She took me shopping one day as I had run out of clean clothes. That was fun! Not knowing my size in Peru was a challenge as well but as usual I made it an adventure and got some new clothes that at least had not been wore for 2 or 3 days in a row! Plus I must say I got everything at a steal! Things are soooo cheap there.

One last fun thing… The ladies of the church always cooked for us and found it to be an honor to do so. This one lady asked us to pray for her son to start going to church with their family again as he hadn’t been in over 10 years. Our group prayed for her then later that day I met her son he seemed like a nice man. I asked him to go to church with me and he said no. OK, no problem I thought at least I asked. Well the next day the Pastor asked me if I had invited him to church and I said yes. He then asked me if I would go back and ask him again. I said sure and his sister in law and niece were waiting for me when I came out of the apartment to take me to him. When I got there I talked with him and asked him again to go to church with me. He then asked if his family had put me up to this and I answered truthfully no. That it had been my ideal the first time I asked and no one else’s. He smiled and then agreed to go to church with me (he spoke English very well by the way). I had a very pleasant time at church with him and his family was ecstatic to see us. His name was Jesus… How many people get to say they went to church with Jesus? The funny thing about this whole thing is he wanted to talk to me after church to discuss my faith and because of the Peruvian culture I could not be alone with him as I was unmarried. So his family and one of the missionaries went with us to eat dinner after church and talk. It was the sweetest thing BUT I felt like I was a young girl on a date . The family is really a nice group of people and I’m happy to report Jesus is still going to church.

Jesus and Me

Our Mission Team

My Mission Team 2011

The Mission Training school was a preeminent experience for me. One I shall not soon forget…



Let me first tell you about my trip up the mountain… Did you ever see Romancing the Stone? If you did do you remember the bus ride Joan Wilder takes the one where she bounces awake?

The only thing missing on our bus ride was the pig and chickens! Well for those of you who saw the movie you know what I’m talking about but to those of you that didn’t well… We go up the mountain and there are drop offs so close to the VERY bumpy DIRT road that one wrong slip and it looks like you will slid right off the side. And when I say bumpy I do mean bumpy one gentleman got so sick we had to stop and let him throw up twice! I laughed out loud from the joy and said “what a ride!” I told everyone I felt like Joan Wilder and Karen Whitley said “That is why I love this girl no matter what we do she finds joy in it!”


There are thousands of Peruvians hungry to hear the word of God. They do not have enough trained pastors for the existing Churches much less the new churches they plant. That is why this Mission Training school is so important. They are training the Pastors and Missionaries of the future for Peru. There are still many places in the jungle that have not heard the gospel spoken. One Pastor was taking a group 16 hours up the Amazon River and then a 4 hour road trip to a native group. I saw him at the airport when I was leaving and he told me they had baptized 47 people while they were there. I told him that was a trip I would love to make some day.

I came here last year so broken hearted and yet God used me to help fulfill his plan. He gave me great teachers, Pastor Paul and Karen Whitley, Pastor Hector Del Carpio, Pastor Juan, Pastor Miguel and Suzan Cartagena and the many dedicated young people of Peru. This trip showed me how much he had used me last year and the difference I made. We are all just one person working for God but each and everyone of us matters. If we are not there in that moment working for God then who will be? If we do not speak God’s word then who will not hear it? We must all be Warriors for Christ and tell our story so others will learn and follow the one true God. Everyone has a story to tell. Maybe you think your story has no value but if your story touches one person and brings them to Christ and then they touch one person and they touch one person and so on it has a giant ripple effect and many people end up being saved just because of you shared your story. We should not be afraid to tell our story, we must all learn to be bold for God.

This Mission trip was a joyful homecoming to me and it was also a chance to plant more of God’s word. I can’t wait to return next year to see the fruits of this trips labor. It was an incredible thing to see real, lasting change coming from my last trip and I know that is what I did this time too.

Hard at work

On the streets of Chancay, Peru

Mission Training School Peru

My view every morning...

Matthew 5:16Let your light so shine before men , that they may see your good works and glorify our Father in Heaven.

I really don't know where to begin with this blog? Which is so not like me... I always have something to say and a unique way to say it but this trip was powerful and moved me in a way that is hard to define.God spoke to me on this trip and what he said make me think about many things I had not considered before. So, I will share some of my personal moments in Peru. These made an impact on me and my desire is for it to make one on you as well.

The first thing God told me was to stop trying to figure everything out myself. Next he told me to give up my will to him.To fall in line with his plans. To lose the many "selves" of myself. I understood what he was saying I have to die to my many "selves" or MY wants. We all have things we want in this life, a home, car, husband or wife, great job, or travel. What God said to me was to listen to his voice and wants for my life and to stop thinking about what I want to do for him and let him lead me to what he wants from me and where he wants me to go. Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say here? I know this Mission trip was where he wanted me because I once again felt at total peace and only that comes from God and following his path.

Sometimes I try so hard to listen to God or direct my life in the way that I think he wants me to go that I forget that I'm getting ahead of him and his desires for my life. This Mission School in Peru was so far removed from civilization that I was forced to rely on God's will for my life. I had so many quite hours with God. I wrote everyday and want to share some of that writing with you. I was at one with our creator and felt so blessed to be in that beautiful part of the country. Everyday we had different teachers and different subjects to learn. We had some very well traveled Missionaries to teach us about this world of God's and what to expect if we choose this life.

  And every evening...

One Pastor moved me almost to tears but delivered an astonishing revelation... He spoke about us and used a bucket of water as an example. He stuck his hand in the water and then removed it. He said you could not tell where his hand had been but when it was there you could see it quite clearly and we were all like that, a light in the darkness for others to see. When we are gone who will take our place and become the light of God? He also said when God first called him to do Mission work the first place he sent him was to Mexico and he reveled that he had hated the Mexican people which his honesty shocked me! He said he cried everyday and asked God not to send him there but being obedient to God meant he must go and when he stepped off the plane and looked into the eyes of the Mexican people he still felt hatred but God spoke to him and said look into their eyes and he did and then God said if I loved them enough to die for them can you not love them enough to minister to them for me? He wept like a baby then and said yes he could...  I was shocked by his honesty and humbled. I was guilty of the same. Sometimes there are people that are just too hard to love. I learned that there are horrible people in this world and we may never understand them or the choices they make but I also know when I look into their eyes I now see God and If he loved them enough to die for them, then I can Minister to them. I do not look at anyone the same since he preached those words.

That moved me to tears and I felt a change sweep over me. Now, every time I look into the eyes of someone I don't like or who makes me angry I remember and hear his words again and then I really look and that person. God didn't just die for me or my family, he died for us all even those who scorn him, mock him and don't believe in him. He died for us all and even though I knew this I don't think I had ever thought about it in quite this way. That was so powerful to me... Stop right now and turn to someone you don't know and look into their eyes and see that God loves them too and see if that doesn't change your perspective for just a minute. Or think about someone who maybe hurt you profoundly, or hurt someone you love deeply. Maybe they hate you just because you believe in God? When you look at them through the eyes of God you see something very different and I will never forget that message as long as I live.

Psalm 27:13 ~ I would have lost heart,unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living...

Lima, Peru and My Mission Trip

Today I read something it was a quote by David Wilkerson~ God brings imperfect people together to perform his work on earth. He does not send angels. Angels weep over the world, but God does not use angels to accomplish his purposes. He uses burdened, broken, weeping men and women. When I read this I thought how true this was… I came here last year so broken in spirit and yet God used me to help fulfill his purpose and his plan. He used my sorrow to build bridges of love. That love I gave to the people of Peru. They saw me as a shining light for God and even in my worst moment I was an inspiration to them. They saw God’s spirit in me and they responded to that.

My “JOY” has returned and my heart is overflowing with God’s love… There are times when I wonder in my life what I have done to behold God’s love in the eyes of the Peruvian people. I’m so blessed and I have a grateful heart. The women of this place were overjoyed to see me and we cried many tears of joy. They have been waiting for me to return.

Cecilia and me

When Cecilia opened the door and told me she was fine I knew my prayers had been answered. She held her sweet baby boy in her arms. I had worried about her because she had a lump in her breast and was pregnant and that was so similar to me and my cancer during my pregnancy. She said every time a group from America came she would go and look for me. Because she remembered that I said I would come back to see her. I gave her my bracelet the one I had worn for over a year that said “With God all things are possible” Mark 10:27. I kept that on my wrist to remind me of how great our God is and I told her the story when I gave it to her, she wept and hugged me.

Then there was Maria my earth angel’s mother. When she opened the door and saw me standing there she broke down and grabbed me. She was overcome with joy. I did not realize that I had made such an impact on her and was very surprised. She told me about the kids going the Happy Hearts and how she was still attending church. I guess my lesson was every life you touch can leave a heart print or a crack in their heart. We must tread carefully so we only leave heart prints and not cracks.

Maria and her children

We went to a place so spiritually poor that it hurt your heart just to see them. Now they have a Happy Heart club for the children, they started going to church regularly and the gangs fights have stopped. The place has the feel of God about it… I helped build something lasting in this place… Not just a home to keep the children from sleeping on the dirt floor but lasting eternal change in this place for God and I’m so thankful he allowed me to come back and witness the change. God does not want us to keep our faith to ourselves. We must be a Missionary to everyone, everywhere. Go and be a blessing. Make a change in this world for God.

I want to thank Paul and Karen Whitley for all the hard work and dedication to the people of Peru. The Mission work they do is so important and I know God smiles upon them and all the work they do there. I feel blessed to have been apart of this not once but twice and hopefully many more times to come as well.

My Peruvian Angel

Paul and Karen Whitley

My inspiration and My Friend David Lion

          Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.~Galatians 6:2

The day before I left to go on my Mission Trip 7/10



David was the catalyst for it all; he was the beginning… He help lead me down the road to healing and finding my passion; helping others less fortunate. He truly has been the inspiration for all my writing and for wanting to lead a life of significance.

My spiritual growth this past 18 months has been in big part to Pastor David. When I first met him at New Life Christian Church he was just what I needed an on fire for God pastor who was passionate about life. He saved my life in so many ways and I do not know where to begin to thank him.

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He pulled me back from all of the anger and bitterness that was consuming me. He led me back to God and inspired me. He reminded me of my dream of a Mission trip and encouraged me to follow my heart. I found my FAITH because of him and because of that faith I was able to let go of everything and follow God last summer.

You meet people sometimes and you have no clue at that moment what an impact they may make on your life. David was one such person and indeed I don't think he even understands how much he has changed not only my life but some of my friends lives as well.



He is was an inspiration to many people and it is with a heavy heart today that I have to say he stepped down as Pastor of “The Church”. I know it is unfair of everyone to expect one man to be Superman and indeed his life has been difficult this past year. He has lost so much and yet it amazes me how much he still gives to everyone around him.

When I think of selflessness I think of him; he truly is the most selfless person I have ever met. He works 50 hours a week, counsels us, and prepares a sermon every Sunday for us. He will be missed more than he will know. He has left a void in our life and I know we will find another Church or Pastor but we will never find another David.



He is irreplaceable in our hearts and I want him to know that we will always love him, and believe in him. He did not disappoint us, or fail us in any way. Perhaps it was us that failed him it not recognizing that he is just a man and not Superman.



If I failed you then I'm sorry... Forgive me for not seeing things clearly and for not understanding.


I will miss you my friend…


Pastor David, Jessica and me



Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart within me is distressed.~ Psalm 143: 4


He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness." ~Hebrews 5:2


There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ~John 4: 18



My Friend



My Redneck Family Funerals Part 2


Women who behave rarely go down in history…

My poor mother is sooooo ashamed of me...


  
I must tell you when I woke up the next morning my head felt like it was going to explode! I was praying to the “Lawd”myself to please forgive me for consuming the depraved drink called “white lighting” and I made a vow to him that if he ever got me to feeling better that I would never partake of that demon drink again! I stumbled out of the bathroom after kneeling before the great white porcelain throne and throwing up all the contents of my stomach. I then made a bee line right for the black liquid of redemption brewing on the counter.



As I grabbed my cup of java and starting pouring the steaming brew down my throat I heard a groan. I turned around and spread out right on the kitchen table was Cousin Lucy Lovelady (that was her stage name). I poked at her and whispered “Get up Lucy before someone sees you”. Now Lucy was one of the most famous of the family as she had been singing in “Honky Tonk’s” since she turned 21. Aunt Lou was always bragging how one of her own had finally made something of themselves.


She finally rolled off the table and said “Howdy Cuz” and asked for a cup of coffee as well. I asked why she was on the table and of course she said it had something to do with that sinful drink in the Mason jar. She said when she got here late last night everyone was having such a good time in the barn that she just couldn’t help herself and joined in the wayward fun.


She said rather mischievously “Cuz I didn’t know you could dance like that? Why I tell you truthfully you could have made a famous dancer. The way you were swinging around them poles in that barn would have put any high dollar stripper to shame!” I groaned “God no!” I had to ask mortified beyond belief “Please I begged Lucy did I keep my clothes on?” Why Lawd yes honey, after all you ani’t no floozy! I will say this I think all the family looks at you just a little bit different now. They used to think you was a little uppity but now they know for sure you is one of us through and through!” she stated proudly. Home less than 24 hours and what an impression I seemed to be making on the family.


It weren’t long before the rest of the relatives came stumbling out looking for coffee. I got a sly grin from Cousin Roy and Uncle Jimbo slapped me on the back with a tear in his eye and said girlie you done us all proud last night. I was beginning to think that the family genes just skipped right on by you but no sir-re you got your fair share!” All I could say as I looked around the now accepting faces of my wayward family was “Shucks Uncle Jimbo, you know I got all my wicked ways from you.” As everyone around the table agreed and welcomed me back into the fold.


Aunt Lou got up sometime later and went to the funeral parlor. A relative on her Mama’s side of the family gave her some money for a fancy funeral. I learned later that was why Lucy came home. Aunt Lou wanted her to sing at Uncle Jackson’s service. Now Lucy had a nice voice but I had never heard her sing anything but country music and well quite truthfully “Redneck Woman” and “ Fancy” seemed to be a few of her favorite songs and I didn’t think those would go over well at the service. As I glanced around the kitchen table and witnessed Uncle Jimbo scratch the family jewels and Cousin Skeeter fart. I stopped to reconsider those songs. It might be just what this family needed to hear. My God I thought this couldn't get any worse, but I was wrong again.


Now walking through the door at that moment was none other that the Baptist preacher that had been praying at Aunt Stella's temple! Apparently Aunt Lou had asked him to the house. I was starting to get a little worried when I head someone ask him what was he doing here and he said “Your Aunt Lou asked me to perform the service” as I choked on my coffee cousin Lucy slapped me on my back! He said "Mrs. Lou wanted me to come by this morning to talk about the service" Now most of the family was snickering and making little comments about how the Lawd's work could be so rewarding saving all those women’s souls and such and wanting to know just what did a person half to do to become a pastor? I groaned and wondered where the moonshine jar was when you needed it!


Fortunately I was saved when Aunt Lou walked through the backdoor and asked us to remove ourselves from the kitchen so she could talk to the Pastor in private. I left that kitchen as quickly as possible because I wanted no part in whatever talk was going to take place.


We all got sobered up and showered then headed to the funeral Parlor to see Uncle Jackson. Now I must say Uncle Jackson did look awful spiffy in his new overhauls and baseball cap Aunt Lou had bought him at Wal-Mart for the occasion. He did have a smile on his face but that might have had something to do with the fact that there had been a 21 year old woman passed out next to him when he went to meet his maker.


Everyone was pleased with the funeral home and the arrangement Aunt Lou had made and even Aunt Stella seemed to be in a good mood since her “friend” would be performing the service. Now the day of the service I was quite pleased with the somber bunch that showed up at the funeral parlor. Uncle Jackson had clearly stated that he wanted women pall bearers he said a woman brought him into this world and he wanted to be carried out by them.


So Aunt Lou lined up all the young pretty relatives and made them pall bearers. She tried her best to talk me into it BUT there was NO way I was going to do that I told her I was too grief stricken to carry him out! At that point I was starting to get a little worried again and hoping it didn’t turn into a circus! As we sat down the first song that played over the PA system was a recorded song by Randy Travis he was singing Amazing Grace so I started to relax a little.


Then Cousin Lucy got up to sing and she started singing “Lord Help Me Jesus” by Kris Kristofferson. At first she started out nice and soft but by the time she got to the chorus she had her best barroom voice booming as she belted that song out! She had the crowd going feet tapping and a couple of hell yells! I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from bursting out laughing! The look on the Preachers’ face was priceless this was one of those moments in life I realized that you had to be there to see it because no one would ever believe it!



Now the shaken pastor finally gets up to speak and he mumbled a thank you for the song by Lucy. He started talking about Heaven and Hell and Jesus dying on the cross for our sins so we could all join him in Heaven when we passed away. He quoted a few scriptures and this had more than a few members of the family squirming in their seats. Next he seemed to be a man on fire for God as he started preaching filled with the Holy Spirit! He talked about sin and repentance and walking with Jesus the next thing I know he asked everyone who had not accepted Christ into their life to come on down and receive him now! Well the stampede that headed down the aisle overwhelmed me you would have thought that preacher was handing out free beer the way my family made that trip down to the alter! Asking God to forgive them for every sin they had every committed, drinking, fornicating, adultery, lying, stealing, and armed robbery. I was about to fall out in the aisle I was laughing so hard, I thought if I heard one more “Will the lawd forgive this sin too?” I would pee myself!



Finally when everyone had been forgiven by God and they returned to the pews the very satisfied Pastor said that God did indeed work in mysterious ways and he was overwhelmed that God had allowed him to help lead this many lost souls to him. I had never seem a more fulfilled preacher in my life but he did save about 35 souls that day and I’m sure that was more that he had saved all year! Then Lucy got up and in her best barroom voice she belted out on the Wings of a Snow White Dove and it brought tears to everyone’s eyes! Including mine as I was hysterical with laughter and the tears just wouldn’t stop! Then the young girls carried Uncle Jackson out to the waiting hearse. The whole family hugged me after the service as they thought I was overcome with grief!


But it truly was the sight of all my relatives and their wonderful, kooky, unconventional ways. My family may have a few rednecks but I gotta tell you truthfully I love them and all their CRAZY REDNECK ways because without them life would be very boring! They after all are my family! I know I have a little bit of redneck in me as well and I embrace it just like I do all my sexy southern charm my family gene pool has given me.



A redneck gal who kissed all the Cowboys and had a good time!




You might be a REDNECK if ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You’ve ever put a six-pack in a casket right before they closed it.


You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.


Your brother-in-law is your uncle.


Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.


Jack Daniels makes you list of "most admired' people.


Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.


You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

My Redneck Family Funerals Part 1



Just a Redneck Country Girl At Heart!

I know some of you have read my blog about my Redneck Relatives. Well I just want to share some of the more interesting qualities that seem to come out when they decide to have a funeral. Rednecks like to celebrate every chance they get and a southern funeral is just such a time. That and weddings; I will have to blog about the “Family” weddings later and of course the cousins they marry. Remember to be very careful of who you talk about around here. Everybody in the South is kin to each other. No matter who you bring up, you're bound to be insulting somebody's aunt, uncle, or third cousin twice removed." So I have changed the names to protect the guilty of course.



Let’s start with my dear departed Uncle Jackson. He died one sad night in January; he came home after an evening spent inebriating a large amount of his good friend Jack Daniels from the local Pub and Grub. You see Uncle Jackson fell asleep in his car and as it was 30 degrees below zero and well he just plain froze to death. Now Aunt Lou was madder than an old wet hen when she woke up and found Uncle Jackson. She said she didn’t know how anybody could freeze to death with that much alcohol in their bloodstream!



After she finally got over being mad then she started to plan his funeral. Everybody knows in the south when someone dies you bring food. So all day long food started coming in. You had potato salad, green beans, corn bread, fried chicken, lima beans, deviled eggs, pot roast, and the desserts oh my! There was red velvet cake, 7up cake, German chocolate cake, banana pudding, apple pie and good ole Georgia pecan pie. Soon after all the food arrived; all of the relatives showed up…



One thing no one is short of in the south is opinions. My dear departed Uncle Jackson used to say opinions were like assholes everybody’s got one. Now our side of the family was no different. Everyone had their ideal about how Uncle Jackson should be put away. Aunt Lou didn’t have an insurance policy on Uncle Jackson. So the family was trying to save a few bucks.



Uncle Maynard said if Aunt Lou wanted she could bury Uncle Jackson on his property; out by the horse pasture under the pecan tree. He said he would even go to the morgue and get his body in the truck to bring him home. Now Uncle Joe said he would even make him a nice pine coffin that way Aunt Lou didn’t have to spend no money. Cause he had plenty of lumber just laying around the old barn.



Now Aunt Stella had an opinion as well she thought Uncle Jackson should be cremated after all it only cost $500.00 to do that and all those fancy folks in Hollywood were doing that now. She thought we should try and have a little class.



I tell you the uproar that caused was enough to make a preacher cuss! Aunt Lou said there was no darn way in hell she would cremate Uncle Jackson. I thought that was a good ideal considering the amount of alcohol he consumed I could just see him going out in a “Blaze of Glory” so to speak and burning everything down around him as well.



Uncle Jimbo decided he would go to the morgue and get Uncle Jackson. Now Jimbo was the twin of Uncle Jackson and like him, his good friends were Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. So as Aunt Lou sent him to fetch Uncle Jackson in his pickup truck. I decided to sneak back to the kitchen, mind my own business and put up all that food that had been brought over and wash dishes.



Now I must say time did pass by rather quickly and I looked out the backdoor and noticed all the family out in the barn. I felt compelled by some strange force to go see what they were up too. That was a mistake! When I got there they were all passing around a jug of moonshine and listening to George Jones on the radio crooning “He stopped loving her today” and sayin ain’t it the truth.



I must say I had to be out of my head with grief cause when they passed that jug and asked me to have a sip; I took a swig! After that things get a little fuzzy for me. I hung out in that ole barn and sang right along with everyone to Hank Williams “I’m so lonesome I could cry” and cry we all did.



Then the next thing I became aware of was Uncle Jimbo showing up and he staring swinging me around that barn like we were at the local dance hall. To the tune of “If you got the money honey I got the time". As God as my witness the next thing I remember is looking up and seeing Uncle Jackson sitting up in Uncle Jimbo’s truck! I could have sworn he was smiling and singing right along with us!



Now at some point during all this mayhem Aunt Lou came out and started a ruckus like I ain’t never heard. She started yelling at Uncle Jimbo about being gone so long. He told Aunt Lou he just stopped to have a few drinks on the way back from the morgue at Uncle Jackson favorite’s places. He thought it was only fittin and besides Uncle Jackson was dead, it didn’t hurt a thang!



At this point I heard Aunt Stella shoutin to the Lawd that we was all heathens and going to burn in hell right alongside Uncle Jackson, drinkin and carryin on and such. We just didn’t have no respect for the dead! Now when she said Uncle Jackson was going to hell let me tell you I thought my Aunt Lou was going to blow a gasket!



She turned as red as a sun ripe tomato and started pointing her finger in Aunt Stella’s face and told her she better take her high fulutin ways and get off her property! She yelled “how dare you speak of my beloved Jackson in such a way! You think you’re so high and mighty well let me tell you something missy, we ain’t the only ones going to hell here. You think carryin on with that married preacher over in the next county is gonna get you into heaven? Well no mam it won’t, that preacher may be praying at your temple but it’s sure not the Lawd’s!



Well I must say that declaration had us all shocked into sobriety. Aunt Stella said “well I never” and Aunt Lou said “yes you did honey and more than once!” Aunt Stella stormed off in a huff and Uncle Jimbo cackled like a demented person just let loose from the loony bin. I thought to myself if the pre funeral party was this much fun I couldn’t wait for the big show.



Mark Twain once said there might not be much to see in a small town but what you hear will make up for it!



Can I have an AMEN!!!



They carried him away in style...

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I'm found was blind but now I see~John Newton

Grace such a simple word and yet it is a miracle given to us by God.

The definition of Grace ~ in Christianity, the condition of being free of sin, e.g. through repentance to God, it is the infinite love, mercy, favor, and goodwill shown to humankind by God.

The Bible tells us ~ "For by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone be found boasting. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:8-10

Grace is given unto us as a gift from God. We do not have to earn it only accept it. We need to feel honored that God loved us enough to sacrifice his son for our salvation.

Grace is given to everyone. It doesn’t matter how big or small the sin. Indeed we are all sinners in either word or action. We all have shameful moments deep in our hearts that we don’t want people to know about.

Grace has nothing to do with being “worthy” of it. Jesus died for our sins, we are all washed clean by his blood.

I have made many mistakes in my life and hurt people that I loved deeply because of those things.I can only ask forgiveness from everyone my actions hurt. Know this I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone and I was a very naive young woman; really I was just a kid. I hurt my parents and husband.

The mistakes I made were at a young age; I learned from them and they in turn help shape me into the woman I am today. A woman that I'm very proud of.

I know through grace that God has already forgiven me for those mistakes. I just could not forgive myself and I allowed people to treat me with disrespect because I felt they had that right; because I had sinned.

I had to forgive myself and learn to love myself. For if God loved me so much that he gave his only son for my salvation; how could I not love myself as he does?

The prostitute, drug addict, rapist and child molester have the gift of grace as well. This was hard for me to understand and accept at first. No sin is exempt from grace.

Also it is not my place to judge people when they do sin even if it’s against me. I am guilty of this and not proud of it. I’m deeply ashamed of myself for this.

My ex is one of those people and it is not my place to judge him or anyone for that matter. I have forgiven him for all the hurts and even asked his forgiveness for any part I might have played in the demise of our relationship.

But I still judged him, I think in part because he was never apologetic for any of the things he did to me. It fact the last time I spoke with him he was outraged about my blog.

I asked him if I had lied about anything that happened and he said “No’ “but that he could write his own blog to justify why he did all those things” and I replied “I wish you would because I honestly would like to know myself why you organized and carried out the execution of my heart”. I’m not trying to be dramatic but that is the best explanation of how he destroyed my love for him.

I have to stop being his judge and jury. I have to stop expecting him to ask me for forgiveness. I cannot make him regret the affairs or abuse nor can I ever demand him to be repentant to me. The only entity he has to be accountable to is God. Indeed he is the only one any of us have to be accountable to.

I have asked God to forgive me for being so un-Christ like and I will ask my ex to forgive me as well. I sincerely have forgiven him for everything I believe in my heart that if he came to me with a sincere apology that I would be able to close the door on this. I’m one of those people who have to know the “Why’s” of everything. I am a work in progress…

I used to tell him someday I would get my apology even if I had to wait at the “Pearly Gates” for his arrival and I would tell “Saint Peter” that he could not pass through those gates till I got my apology, of course if he got there first he would just have to wait on me(Saint Peter and I have come to an understanding about this)! Ha Ha! I can be a bit hard-headed at times.

Grace is available for us every day we just have to stumble toward the light and ask for it.


A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.

~Mohandas Gandhi




Hate the sin and not the sinner is a precept which though easy enough to understand is rarely practiced, and that is why the poison of hatred spreads in the world.

~ Mohandas Gandhi



My wedding day...So very long ago...

A Southern Belle and the Blessings Just Keep Coming...

Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends. 

 I have been blessed with many things in my life but one of the greatest is my friends. I have had a difficult few months. Without them I think I would have fallen into self-pity. Which is soooo not like me.

They have helped lifted my spirits and set my feet back on the right path. I now see things more clearly and know that the hand of God was at work again. I hope he forgives my dishearten spirit. I'm full of Joy and hope again!

The last few weeks God has more than made up for my little "down" moment. Indeed I can't wait to get up and see what he has planned for me. It's an exciting time.

Tomorrow I will be on an internet talk show and I'm very excited about it! I'm going to tape it and place it on my blog for everyone who didn't get a chance to see it live.

Wish me luck or is it break a leg???

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

~ Saint Augustine

We are what we believe we are: C.S Lewis

My sisters Elizabeth, Nancy, my Mom, me and my sister Julie.

Do you ever question what your life could be like if you had the courage to be different, to change, reinvent yourself?


I know that there are times when I stand in the middle of the library and I sense that I’m screaming at the top of my lungs “this is not my life” and no one can hear me! Can anyone out there understand how I feel?

I’m proud of who I have become. But I know I can be MORE than what I am and I think God wants that from me.

I love being a mother and working with children. Taking care of them helps to heal the little girl inside of me.

The girl who thought she might die at 8 years old of cancer, the one who went hungry, the one her grandmother locked in a closet every time she was “Bad” and the one who heard her father beat her mother.

I grew up not comprehending the magnitude of what I was living through.

My mother had a mental breakdown when I was 12 years old. She was unable to even walk outside the house and she did not drive a car again until I was grown.

Her beautiful spirit had been broken…

My father was always gone and my older sister and I had most of the responsibility of taking care of our siblings and the home.

I learned very early in life to survive…

I did not know what death was but it frightened me. All I knew was that it must be awful because everyone was crying and hugging me. It took me years to overcome that fear.

I developed Claustrophobia because of the closet and it took me becoming an adult to overcome that. How I managed to overcome those things on my own even amazes me.

What can I do with all these lessons life has given me? How can I turn them into positives?


I'm a very optimistic person and always see the glass half full. I always look at the hardships life has handed me and try to learn from them. I try to become a better person in spite of what has happened to me.


One of the greatest gifts God has given me is the ability to forgive others. I can only say that this does come from God. I never hold on to grudges and become bitter.

In fact until my divorce those emotions were foreign to me. It was during that time that I first experienced bitterness and rage. That was why I blogged about everything, to get rid of all of that pain. I did not want that dark creature living inside of me. I'm a child of light not darkness.

C.S Lewis says “We are what we believe we are”. I believe that I’m different from most people. I think about the possibilities of life and being more than what I am now.

Sometimes those thoughts intimidate people. They like living in their comfort zone and don't want anyone to shake things up. I thrive on shaking things up and not knowing what God has in store for me.

Indeed I wake up every morning excited to see what he has planned for me today. I know I am only one person but I'm a child of God and with him all things are possible if you have "FAITH".


When I was in Peru I discovered something about myself. I want a life of significance; I want to change how the world thinks. God has a magnificent plan for my life and I'm going enjoy the ride.


I want to make a difference in this life… To matter… I just need to wait until God shows me the “how” and the “where”…







My heroine will always be my sweet mother...

The Snow Fairy written by Glenda Sisk



 My First Published Book!!!

This book was a labor of love for me. I wrote this book because my beautiful daughter Jessica "Rhiannon" wanted a story about Fairies, Princesses and Snow. She has always been the Princess" of my heart and I could never refuse her. So my little girl got her wish and the story is and will forever be hers.

Jessica "Rhiannon" "Princess of the Fairies' Sisk

I know most of my friends have already read or purchased this book when it  was first released and I thank you. You will never know how  ecstatic I was to see all my friends and family show up at Borders bookstore for my book signing that day! Celebrating my success with everyone was wonderful ! It meant more to me than you will ever know...I sold 85 copies that day alone! It was truly an amazing day!

I have written 13 children's books to date and so far only the Snow Fairy has been published. I'm still hopeful that the others will find a publisher. I'm working on a new book with a student at school. It's funny how that came about...

She needed a study buddy and I volunteered. She wanted to write a book like me and have it on the shelf in the Library. I thought great we can do that. All I have to do is make our book look like it was published. I thought a photo for the cover and photo's for the inside. Now I had to figure out what we were going to write about.

Her mother had just passed away and she was still mourning her loss. I told her when my dad died that I wrote letters to him when I felt lonely. She thought that was a great ideal and so began our journey of the heart.

I have been able to help her tell her story about her loss and wonder at what "Heaven" might be like for a child. We have explored all of the possibilities of what death might feel like to a 10 year old child.

I have tried my best to keep the purity and innocence of her thoughts while gently guiding her onward. This has been one of the most rewarding things I have even done in my life. I feel like I have learned a little more about "God" myself from this angel on earth. I would love for this to get published because I think every adult could benefit from it.  I also think every child who has ever lost a parent could understand that they are not alone ever.

Now if I could just make this little girl's story a reality (to be published) then she too would forever have her own story...

Here is her first letter...

Dear Mommy,                                                                       December 17, 2009

I wanted to write you a letter to tell you how I feel. Ms. Sisk is my study buddy and she is helping me write letters to you. She said it might make me less sad if I can still talk to you. She said when her Dad died that she wrote letters to him for a long time. Now I will get to talk to you anytime I want! There are so many things I want to ask you.

I’m sad today because you died and left me here. I’m afraid I will never see you again? Are you watching me from Heaven? Do they have the color pink there? I know that is your favorite color and I hope they have that color just for you! Are you an angel now? Do you have wings? And if you do can you fly? Is it fun being an angel?

I just want to thank you for letting me sleep cuddled up next to you at night, and for helping me with my homework. I miss everything we did together.


Christmas is almost here and I think about you every day. I hope they have Christmas in Heaven and I hope you have a happy one. I miss you mommy…


Love Forever
Your daughter
Akira

P.S Did you feel the ten kisses goodbye that I gave you?